Surviving Parental Guilt and Preserving Your Peace

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

I was thrilled about becoming a mother, and I thought everything would be okay if I loved my children with all my heart and provided the best care possible. I wish someone had talked to me about the tangle of emotions that was about to happen and how to navigate all those feelings. I especially wish someone had explained parental guilt to me.

I have three children, and with each one, I found myself feeling guilty about everything. I felt guilty about working and dropping them off at daycare, not spending enough time with them, and falling asleep while I read a bedtime story. I felt guilty if they didn’t do well in school, and if they got into trouble, I was sure it was because of my shoddy parenting.

The feeling of guilt has followed me into my children’s adult years, but I have finally learned how to survive that guilt and preserve my peace. Here are a few things I have learned that I hope can help you.

· Create boundaries. When your children are little, they push the boundaries to see how much control they have. Creating boundaries that define where their control ends and yours begins makes them feel safe and lets them know the chain of command. They will continue to push those boundaries into adulthood, so keep your boundaries steady and firm.