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Parenting Should Come With a Warning Label
When I was pregnant with my first baby I didn’t know what to expect. When I told my mother I was expecting she said, “Oh, no.” I was surprised by this reaction, but she explained to me that parenting was a lot, and she was concerned for me. I would have liked more of an explanation but that’s all she said. Whenever women wanted to talk about their experiences they only wanted to revisit labor and delivery and then they said cryptic things like, “Your life will change forever.” And “I hope you have help.”
I was terrified when my daughter was born. I remember thinking I was pretty sure I was going to mess this up. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I didn’t want to hurt her. My parents came to stay for a week and when they left I cried. The next day, I begged my husband not to leave me alone as he went to work. I soon discovered some of the perils of parenting.
· There are massive amounts of poop. I never thought a human could produce so much of it. You need to become a proficient poop cleaner, and you need to be prepared for the inevitable diaper blowout that will only occur in an inconvenient awkward spot like a fancy restaurant. It will also help if your mother-in-law gives you the stank eye as if she is telling you that this would never have happened with her children.