Forging friendships

Jennifer Bonn
2 min readJan 19, 2023

If you have good friends in your life you have more wealth than any amount of money can provide. Good friends can make your life better in so many ways. So how do you find friends who can enrich your lives? Finding people who will be close friends is not easy. Let me share a few things I have learned about forging friendships.

Quantity not quality

My husband, daughter, and I were in the kitchen when the hot topic question on the morning news was how many good friends do you need to have? All three of us said, “One” at the same time. Don’t think there is something wrong with you because you don’t have a lot of friends. Also, don’t think if you have a lot of friends that they are all good ones. I have lots of acquaintances, but only a small circle of friends I love like family.

Know your definition of good.

What is your definition of a good friend? I want a friend who understands me and enjoys me for who I am instead of trying to change me to fit her vision. A good friend encourages you and applauds your accomplishments without jealousy. I especially appreciate a friend who makes me laugh.

Beware of the people who pretend to be good friends. A false friend can cause a lot of damage and emotional upheaval. Toxic friends say I love you to your face and then talk about you behind your back. They will not change, they do not have your best interest in mind, and the best thing you can do is to end any of those relationships.

Look for people who have the same interests as you, and enjoy doing what you do.

Be intentional.

I watched an interview with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Sally Fields about friendships. Jane said you have to be intentional about friendships. She said to seek out the people you want as friends and pursue them.

Sally and Lily said they don’t like people, but Jane was so persistent about being their friend that they gave in to her.

When you find your good friends cultivate those relationships and cherish them.

Where to find them

Where to look for friends depends on what you do in life, and where you are comfortable being. I have found my best friends through running, so going to races has helped me make connections. If you go to church, become more active in some church groups if you are active join some community activities. Go where you can engage in your interests and look for the people who love what you enjoy.

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Jennifer Bonn

My specialties are education, running, parenting, and self-help. My book 101 Tips to Lighten Your Burden can be found on Amazon. My blogwww.jenniferswriting.org