Easy Ways to Say No for People Pleasers
I have spent most of my life as a people pleaser, so I know how difficult it can be to say no even when it seems logical to do it. A neighbor asked my advice today because a neighbor she doesn’t really know asked her if she could spend the week in her basement as she recovered from surgery. My reaction was to say her answer should be a hard no, but my neighbor was riddled with guilt even though her husband had said absolutely not to the suggestion. She continued telling me why she felt bad about saying no, so I gave her at least five reasons to decline, and then I looked at her and said, “All you need to say is no. You do not need to explain yourself.” That’s difficult though, isn’t it? We feel guilty so we pull out all our reasons. Here are a few ways to make your no easier.
Don’t hesitate. If you say you need time to think about it, you will have more trouble saying no later. Be adamant and direct with your no.
Provide an alternative. Be firm with your no but offer another solution.
Go with your gut reaction. I have a friend who always reacts to the way something makes her feel. She doesn’t overthink it. If something stresses her out, she says no right away.
Let others own their stuff. I am all for helping people when I can, but if that makes you uncomfortable then let people figure out their…
